SPIRITUAL MATURITY
What does it mean to be spiritually mature? What are the marks of growing the faith? The 16 traits listed here are things that have been worked on for centuries by those trying to be more like Christ. Seven are actions that can draw us closer to God (Authenticity, Impact/Making a Difference, Learning, Prayer, Relationships, Submitting to God, Worship---- SPIRAL-W).* The other nine are gifts that God offers so that we might be more like the Jesus (Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-Control). The first are actions we take. The gifts show how willing we are to let God take leadership in our life. Each area's questions point to tangible actions that can show us the strength of that trait in our life. This guide is not to compare you with anyone else but to help you on your personal walk with the Lord.
This guide can be used in numerous ways: individually, couples, families, or by groups. I would suggest not doing more than one section a day so that you can read the questions, reflect upon them, write answers and then come back later in the day and reflect on it once again. (Note: a more intense reflection can be achieved by reading one sections each day for a week). Each of the 16 section is made up of 5-14 questions. The second section on the page labeled: "The Next Step" is for after these times of reflection. It is made up of questions and resources to help you grow in the area. Don't move on to this section until after spending sufficient time trying to identify your strengths and weaknesses in the area through the first section's questions. The Next Step gives follow up questions as well as actions to take in order to develop the discipline or to open yourself up to Christ's working. THE PURPOSE OF THIS TOOL IS NOT TO SEE HOW QUICKLY YOU CAN GET THROUGH IT BUT TO HELP YOU GROW, WHICH REQUIRES TIME AND ENERGY. It is designed so that it can be used multiple times in order to keep growth coming. So make it an annual journey to identify areas you want to work on to become more like Christ. I hope that you will find this effective for moving closer to who God has made you to be.
What does it mean to be spiritually mature? What are the marks of growing the faith? The 16 traits listed here are things that have been worked on for centuries by those trying to be more like Christ. Seven are actions that can draw us closer to God (Authenticity, Impact/Making a Difference, Learning, Prayer, Relationships, Submitting to God, Worship---- SPIRAL-W).* The other nine are gifts that God offers so that we might be more like the Jesus (Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-Control). The first are actions we take. The gifts show how willing we are to let God take leadership in our life. Each area's questions point to tangible actions that can show us the strength of that trait in our life. This guide is not to compare you with anyone else but to help you on your personal walk with the Lord.
This guide can be used in numerous ways: individually, couples, families, or by groups. I would suggest not doing more than one section a day so that you can read the questions, reflect upon them, write answers and then come back later in the day and reflect on it once again. (Note: a more intense reflection can be achieved by reading one sections each day for a week). Each of the 16 section is made up of 5-14 questions. The second section on the page labeled: "The Next Step" is for after these times of reflection. It is made up of questions and resources to help you grow in the area. Don't move on to this section until after spending sufficient time trying to identify your strengths and weaknesses in the area through the first section's questions. The Next Step gives follow up questions as well as actions to take in order to develop the discipline or to open yourself up to Christ's working. THE PURPOSE OF THIS TOOL IS NOT TO SEE HOW QUICKLY YOU CAN GET THROUGH IT BUT TO HELP YOU GROW, WHICH REQUIRES TIME AND ENERGY. It is designed so that it can be used multiple times in order to keep growth coming. So make it an annual journey to identify areas you want to work on to become more like Christ. I hope that you will find this effective for moving closer to who God has made you to be.
SPIRITUAL MATURITY Implementing Spiritual Disciplines “But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” 2 Peter 3:18 S: Submitting to God 1. What are you most prizing and serving in life? Look at your credit card/bank statement to see where you are spending your money and your calendar to see what comands your time for clues they reveal. ___ Job ___ Hobby ___ Family ___ Yourself ___ Comfort ___ God ___ Money ___ Pleasure ___ Security ___ Other: _______________ ___________________________________ 2. How do you show your submission or commitment to that priority? ___ by the amount of time given to it ___ by money spent on it ___ by what changes I make in response to it ___ by priorities it puts in place ___ by who I associate with or do not associate wit ___ Other: __________________________________________________ 3. What do you think of when you hear “submission”? ___ Boring ___ Cruelty ___ Oppression ___ Honoring another ___ Willingly Serving ___ Seeking to bring joy to another ___ Degrading oneself ___ Weakness ___ Failure ___ Seeing more than oneself ___ Other: __________________________________________ 4. How do you show your submission to God? (mark all that apply) ___ Giving of time to be with God ___ Giving of money to do what God desires ___ Living without some things in order to better do what God desires ___ Changing priorities to what God says is best ___ Forgiving others even when it is difficult ___ Caring about the welfare of others ___ Trusting in the direction God has pointed out for me to take ___ Spending time in worship ___ Spending time listening in prayer ___ Working to make a positive impact on the world ___ Telling others about God’s love sent in Jesus ___ Confessing my wrongs and asking for forgiveness from God and others ___ Other: __________________________________________________ 5. What things cloud your dedication to God being first priority? ___ Fear of what God will ask of me ___ Love of pleasure and comforts ___ Uncertainty of if I will like what God brings ___ Hurts of the past ___ Feeling let down by God ___ Confusion about what God wants or how to make God the priority ___ My life is doing just fine without God messing around in it ___ I have found other priorities that I like more ___ Other:______________________________________________ 6. God says that we will find help as we submit. How have you personally been blessed by God? (check all that apply) ___ Encouraged or Motivated ___ Given Peace ___ Valued ___ Given a new start ___ Removed guilt ___ Given Joy ___ Provided for your needs ___ Received direction/guidance ___ Given opportunities ___ Challenged about something ___ Given protection ___ Strengthened ___ Creativity ___ Other ______________________________________ 7. If you claim to follow God how have you hidden or are you hiding your loyalty to him in some way? Why? ___ At work, because: _________________________ ___ At home, because: ________________________ ___ In public, because: _________________________ ___ On vacation, because: _____________________ ___ In a relationship, because: _________________ ___ Other: _______________________________________ 8. Is there something that God is wanting you to submit in right now? What? If you are struggling to submit, why? ___________________________________________________________ *************************************************** The Next Step: How to Grow in your Spiritual Maturity (specific suggestion to questions in the inventory are labeled Q + the number of the question) Submitting to God: Q.1 – Reflect on the priorities in your life. Are they what you want? ____________________________________________________________________________ Do you have any undesired priorities? ________________________________ What are they costing/providing you? _______________________________ Q.2 – Reflect on what is positively and negatively impacted by your choice of priorities. How are others touched by your choices? What opportunities are opened or lost? _______________________________________________________________ Q.3 – Identify what situations, assumptions, people or… have formed your understanding of “submission”. _______________________________________________________ Are there any misunderstandings or inaccuracies? Any biases? _______________________________________________________ Read the biblical perspective on submission (willingly and lovingly doing what another desires as the first priority)? Matthew 20:25-28 – greatest is a slave, Matthew 23:8-12 - one master, Mark 8:34-35 – pick up your cross, John 13:12-15 Jesus washing feet, etc. Visualize what Jesus looked like, felt and thought in these experiences. Write a description of what submission means as shown in these passages. ____________________________________________________ Q.4 – What has been the impact of your submitting to God’s direction (personally and for others, positives and negatives)? ____________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ Have all of the ways you have chose to submit been what God wanted or are the result of what others wanted, what others told you submission meant, or you assumed you were supposed to do? If you have any questions about whether they were the right direction to take talk with some trusted others about it? Q.5 – List those things that are competing with God for the #1 spot along with the attraction that they hold. __________________________________________________________ What impact does having competing priorities have on you and how you view/respond to God? ______________________________________________________________ What would it take for you to choose God as the single, clear, #1 priority? _________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ Two activities that can help reveal priorities or struggles are Fasting and Simplicity. Fasting can be from anything (food, an activity, etc) and for various lengths of time. It is done in order to clarify our priorities and as a gift to honor God. Richard Foster’s book “Celebration of Discipline” offers helpful insights and procedures on fasting. Simplicity is the act of removing from our life all of the clutter and the unnecessary. In our world it is easy to accumulate stuff and then to find our security in those things. Simplicity helps us back away from attachments to things so that we can more fully hold onto God. Simplicity might even mean giving up things that are helpful in order to remove the distraction they bring. Consider a time of fasting. If you were to fast from something what would be the thing to choose: _______________________________________________________________ For how long and often: _____________________________________________________ Are there ways that you would benefit from simplifying your life? What are some ways that you would consider simplifying? __________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ How will you go about that? ____________________________ Q.6 – Tell God “thank you” for these blessings. Maybe write, paint or draw something to show your gratitude. Write down in a notebook all of the blessings you can think of, adding things as the come along, and review this list on regularly as a reminder of the good things you have been given. Maybe share some of these things with others. _____________________________________________________ Q.7 –What are the specifics of how you are hiding your loyalty to God (e.g. doing things to try and fit in, not telling of your love of God and Christ)? ________________ _____________________________________________________________ Reflect upon the value of Christ to your life and the blessings you have because of him. Think about your need for him and how these gifts call for a response from you. Think about how others could be blessed by the gifts Christ offers. ____________________________________________ What will you do to be true to God instead of hiding God in these situations? _____________________________________ Q.8 – Write out what is standing in your way to doing as God is asking: ___________________________________________ Make an action plan for how you could follow God’s directing: What: _________________________________________ Where: ____________________________________________________ When: ______________________________________________________ With anyone else: __________________________________________ ======================= 
P: Prayer: 1. Which factors effect your frequency and consistency in prayer: ___ Comfort level with God----------- __increases prayer __decreases prayer ___ Confidence level ------------------ __increases prayer __decreases prayer ___ Meaningfulness ------------------- __increases prayer __decreases prayer ___ Social Support -------------------- __increases prayer __decreases prayer ___ Difficult Situation ---------------- __increases prayer __decreases prayer ___ Positive Situation ----------------- __increases prayer __decreases prayer ___ Other ______________________________________ 2. What is your greatest strength with prayer? 3. What is your greatest struggle or need in regards to prayer? 4. What is the ‘content’ of your prayers: (place the % by each) ____ Praising God ____ Thanking God ____ Asking for something ____ Sharing wrongs done and seeking guidance/forgiveness ____ Listening ____ Conversing about life (sharing feelings & thoughts) ____ Acknowledging God’s presence ____ Other: __________________________________ 5. How do you pray? (check all that apply) ____ In your own words ____ In song ____ Through doing Art (painting, sculpture, etc.) ____ In the words of another (devotional books, etc.) ____ In the words of Scripture (Psalms, Lord’s Prayer, etc.) ____ In tongues ____ In images ____ Other ____________________________________ 6. How much time is spent praying for (give %) ___ Yourself ___ Your family ___ Your friends and acquaintances ___ Your Church ___ The Nation & World ___ God’s will to be seen and done ___ Other: ______________________________________ 7. How much time is spent: _____ Talking to God…… _____ listening to God 8. What keeps you from spending prayer time in “listening”? ___ I don’t know how ___ I don’t know if I hear God accurately ___ It seems arrogant ___ I already spend enough time listening ___ Impatience ___ I don’t expect God to speak ___Other: ____________________________________ 9. How frequently do you pray? ___ Constantly (always with God’s presence) ___ Several times a day ___ Daily ___ Every Few Days ___ Every So Often ___ Rarely ___ Never ___ It varies from week to week or different times of year --- Why? _________________________________________ ******************** The Next Step: How to Grow in your Spiritual Maturity(specific suggestion to questions in the inventory are labeled Q + the number of the question) Prayer: Q.1 – Commit to a regular scheduled prayer time. Evaluate the areas causing the decreased frequency in prayer and what specifically diminishes it. Look for individuals whose support is most important to your ability to pray and identify what they can do to help. Ask them to help you be more consistent. Perhaps look at the location or setting where you find prayer the most powerful and fulfilling and where you find it hollow or difficult to connect with God (e.g. outdoors, in a chapel, in a quiet and simple room, with others, preparing for a project or rally). Q.3 – In looking at your area of greatest need seek out reference material to study from the internet or your local bookstore. Look for workshops on the area or ask church leadership if they have something (or could create something) on the area. If what you need is accountability, find someone you trust to be an ‘encourager’, set up guidelines for what you need them to do, and maybe even have a contract giving them permission to be in this role. Q.4 -Focus (e.g. for a week) upon each of these topics of prayer: ___ Praise (e.g. this is celebrating who God is as opposed to what God has specifically done for us. This can be done by looking at nature and sharing your thoughts about God’s majesty, imagination, creativity, power, personality, love, wisdom, etc. Go through the alphabet and come up with as many descriptive words about God for each letter as you can.) ___ Thanks (e.g. list all the things that you have to be grateful about, paint a picture to God expressing your gratitude, write a thank you note to God each day for that week.) ___ Needs (e.g. make symbols of what you most want or need, ask God for what you desire and then reflect on what God’s answer is for that request, ask family and friends for prayer requests and pray one day a week/month for them) ___ Sharing Yourself (e.g. write wrongs done on paper and offer them to God by burning them, bring to God areas of struggle, hurt or concern and ask for the Lord to guide you in seeing the path to take and any repair needing to be done). Share celebrations and joys knowing that God loves you. Imagine what you would say about your situation to a best friend and then tell that to God. ___ Being with God (walking each moment in the Lord’s presence) Talk with God about your thoughts and feelings, questions or what you notice. Work to keep God in the forefront of your thoughts. Select an item to remind you to be with God (e.g. penny, marble, cross, etc.) Or pick certain times or activities and each time they occur focus on God (e.g. each time you look at watch think about what you want to share with God at that moment) Q.5 -Try some of these methods of prayer: ___ Guided Imagery ___ Pray the Psalms (Ps. 29-awe of God, Ps 30-God’s helpfulness, Ps 32-repentance & forgiveness, Ps 73-envy, Ps 70-fear, Ps 77-despair) ___ Pray a Song (e.g. make a song a prayer) ___ Hour(s) of Silence (Ask for God to share with you and then see what comes to mind) ___ Prayer of Listening (read Scripture and reflect on what God wants to tell you in it, pay attention to your physical and emotional feelings about this time or the Scripture) ___ Pray through art (pottery, painting, sand art, etc.) ___ Pray through music ___ Meditation Q. 6 – Schedule a regular time (e.g. 2-4 weeks) to try each prayer focus (ie. Family on Mondays, Friends on Tuesday, World on Wednesday, God’s will on Thursday, Church on Friday, etc.). Put together a file into which you add specific concerns for each area. When the time to give extra focus to that area comes pull out the file and lift up those issues (ie. don’t give up your regular prayers) Q.7/8 – Spend 3-15 minutes each day for a week listening for God. During this time you might read a Scripture and listen for what God might have to say about it, sit outside and look/listen for signs of God’s touch and message, focus on an issue and let your mind/heart work to sense God’s desires, or sit in silence and focus on God. Perhaps hold an object (e.g. take a cross to keep you focused) or use one word (e.g. Savior, Master, Leader) to center in on God, as you breath in focus on what God is giving to you and as you breath out reflect on how the Lord wants you to be transformed by it. Being silent is not easy to do so don’t give up when you get distracted or if you do not “hear” anything immediately. Silence takes practice and we can learn from the art and discipline of silence. When you get distracted simply refocus and remember that even if “nothing” comes silence is valuable in itself. Q.9 –Why do you pray this amount? Are you content with it? Why? What would increase the frequency of your prayer or your desire for prayer? Other resources: Richard Foster’s “Celebration of Discipline”, Maxie Dunnam’s studies: Workbook of Living prayer, Workbook of Intercessory Prayer, Workbook on Spiritual Disciplines, Saddleback Church’s 201 Class, Bill Hybles’ “Too Busy not to Pray”, John Ortberg’s “God is Closer than you think”, Gary Thomas' "Sacred Pathways", Myra Perrine's "What is you God Language" ================== 
Impact/Service: 1. What kind of serving acts do you do? ___ Work for an agency/organization (Shelter, Big Brothers, Red Cross, etc.) ___ Work at my Church doing ________________________ ___ Participating on a Mission Trip or Mission Projects ___ Random Acts of Kindness ___ Regularly help a friend or neighbor ___ Help with family (elderly parent, small children) ___ Plan ways to help those I know ___ Other: _________________________________________ 2. How often do you do acts of service? ___ Daily ___ A few times per week ___ A couple of times per month ___ Every few months ___ Rarely ___ Never ___ It changes with the time of year, the month or the ‘season’ of life I am in 3. What motivated you to do these things? (check as many as apply) ___ Duty/Obligation ___ Peer Pressure ___ Desire to make a difference ___ Someone needed to ___ Gratitude for your blessings ___ Unable to get out of it ___ Care for others ___ Other 4. What do you feel when you think about serving? (check all that apply) ___ Joy ___Heaviness ___Fear ___Excitement ___Reluctance ___Inadequacy ___Anticipation ___Other _______________________________________ 5. What keeps you from serving more often? ___ Time ___ Know How ___ Desire to do it ___ Fear of: _____________________________________ ___ Energy ___ Other priorities: _______________________________ ___ Physical Abilities/Limitations ___ Just doing it ___ Other: ______________________________________ 6. What kind(s) of service would you like to do? ___ Physical work (e.g. building sets, lawn care, painting, etc.) ___ Mental work (e.g. designing computer graphics, budget designing/review, etc.) ___ Task focused (e.g. doing mailings, obtaining supplies, etc.) ___ Relationship focused (e.g. greeter, host of party, calling on shut ins, etc.) ___ Other: _______________________________________ ___ None ******************************************** The Next Step: How to Grow in your Spiritual Maturity (specific suggestion to questions in the inventory are labeled Q + the number of the question) Impact: Service: Q.1 -What talents, skills, knowledge or experiences do you have that can be used to serve others? ______________ _____________________________________________________________ Q.3/4 –If there are negative attitudes or motivations focus on confronting them. Identify acts of service you have done for the wrong motive and see if you can change your motivation to a healthy one; if you can’t change it consider changing your efforts to another service opportunity. Work to find the right area to serve in and the style of serving that fits (task oriented, people oriented, etc.) so that it is a great joy. Q.5 – Evaluate the calling of Christ to be a servant and how you are responding. Why are you responding in that fashion? Do you need to change attitudes or priorities to be more faithful? Examine the lives of one or more person known for service (e.g. Mother Theresa, a personal acquaintance of yours, Eli Stanley Jones) and identify their learnings, struggles and example Q.6 –Seek out a place where you can do the kind of service you like. Pick one or more acts of service that you can do with joy and enthusiasm each month. Make contact to find out about service opportunities and then schedule a time to serve. Build relationship with people who have similar desires in order to open up service opportunities. Study how Jesus served others (e.g. women at the well-John 4:5-30, feeding of the 5000-Matthew 14:14-21, feeding of the 4000-Matthew 15:29-38, healing of the Centurion’s servant-Luke 7:1-10, Healing of the 10 lepers-Luke 17:12-19, washing of disciple’s feet-John 13:2-17) Other resources: Saddleback Church’s 301 Class (www.saddlebackresources.com/en-US/MinistryTools/ClassMaterials/ClassMaterials.htm) gives a format for discovering spiritual gifts as well as education, abilities, experiences that Christ can use. Willowcreek’s Network Program (http://seeds.willowcreek.org/wc/) also provides a format for looking at personality, spiritual gifts and passion to find your service focus. 
R: Relationships: 1. How often do you socialize with other Christians? Non-Christians? ___ Weekly or more ___ Every Couple of Weeks ___ Once a Month ___ Every few Months ___ Rarely ___ Never 2. What type of socializing with others do you find most meaningful and/or enjoyable? Why? ___ Large Groups ___ Small Groups ___ A couple of others ___ One on One _______________________________________________ 3. How intently do you listen to others when they are talking? ___ Intensely ___ Moderately ___ Fade in and Out ___ Don’t really listen much at all 4. What motivates your listening? ___ Politeness ___ That I might be able to use something said for personal advantage ___ To learn about the person or situation ___ Because I care about the person ___ Forced to listen ___ Because I feel like I can help fix things ___ I listen for a break so that I can talk ___ Other: ________________________________________ 5. How frequently do you open (share) yourself to other? ___ Frequently ___ Sometimes ___ On Occasion ___ Rarely ___ Never really show myself 6. When you share about yourself to others how deeply do you share? (you may want to use a code for different groups you share with such as: best friend (bf), Church Group (cg), Work (w), family (f), spouse (s), friends (fr), etc.) ___ Surface Information (job, hobbies, where grew up, etc.) ___ Personal but safe information ___ Personal beliefs ___ Difficult or hurtful Experiences ___ Personal Struggles ___ Personal Dreams ___ Other: ________________________________________ 7. How many people really know your heart and struggles? ___ Nobody ___ God alone ___ One Person ___ A Few ___ I don’t even allow myself to know ___ Many people know ********************************* The Next Step: How to Grow in your Spiritual Maturity (specific suggestion to questions in the inventory are labeled Q + the number of the question) Q.1 –Why do you socialize as frequently/infrequently as you do? Identify the goal, motives, attitudes and desires driving your actions. Challenge any improper or destructive focuses such as self-promotion, fear of being left out, etc. Q.2 – Examine why you like these settings and what you don’t like about those you avoid. Are there things you can do to gain from each setting? What steps will you take to do that? With prayer and reflection identify 2 or 3 events/couples/individuals/groups with whom you would like to socialize. Pray for God to open the right opportunity for that to happen. Initiate a meeting (e.g. coffee, dinner, go to an event) in the next 1-2 months. Q.3 –Spend a week focused on listening to everyone else. Notice distractions and things that make it hard for you to listen intently. Reflect on ways you can remove these barriers. Before social events spend time identifying 2-3 things you can ask others about in order to show your interest in them as well as 2-3 things about yourself that can be shared. Seek more to understand than to be understood. Don’t be working out what you are to say next instead of listening to the person speaking. Keep a notebook of concerns/successes/experiences of Christian friends and ask about them later (e.g. remember the date of a big work project & call to see how it went). Q.4 –Search for things to value in each person you meet and something you can gain/learn from him/her. Continue to watch for things that you didn’t know or that you could learn about people as your relationship continues. Q.5/6/7 –Reflect upon why you keep the things secret that you do. Think about the benefits and risks of sharing yourself with someone. If you don’t share a part of you begin by talking with God about this part of you. Identify what parts and with whom you would be willing (or need) to share your life journey (successes and difficulties). ================================ 
A: Authenticity: 1. Where do you feel like you are being most truly yourself? Where are you least your true self? Why? _________________________________________________________ 2. What image, words, or actions are inconsistent with who you want to be? _____________________________________ 3. What keeps you from being ‘honest’ about yourself (success or failures)? ___ Pride ___ Fear of repercussions ___ Legal repercussions ___ Not wanting to brag or seem arrogant ___ Fear of losing something or someone ___ It would mean I would need to change ___ I don’t know ___ Other: _________________________________ 4. Who helps (or who can help) you be ‘honest’? ___ Family member: ______________________________ ___ Friend: ________________________________________ ___ Co-Worker: _________________________________ ___ Church Member/Leader: ___________________ ___ Other: _____________________________________ 5. How much are you working to: (% of the time) ___ ‘be all you can be’ ___ stay where you are because ‘no one is perfect’? ___ just treading water or making it through the day ___ hiding 6. Where are you most and least like Christ calls you to be? Name the specific things: (check as many as apply using M = Most and L = Least) ___ In my talking: ________________________________ ___ In my habits: _________________________________ ___ In my inner thoughts: _______________________ ___ In my values: _________________________________ ___ In my priorities: ______________________________ ___ In my job activities: _________________________ ___ In my family interaction: ____________________ ___ In my friendship activities: __________________ ___ Other ________________________________________ 7. How have you grown to be more like Christ in the past year? 8. How have you moved away from being like Christ in the past year? *********************************************** The Next Step: How to Grow in your Spiritual Maturity (specific suggestion to questions in the inventory are labeled Q + the number of the question) Authenticity: Q.1 – Reflect on (and perhaps write out, take a picture, or make a painting/sculpture) how you feel about the consistency or lack of consistency in who you “are” and who you “show” to others. What damage is done by any lack of authenticity? ______ _______________________________________________________________ Q.2 – Identify what these inconsistent “words” or “actions” are trying to hide? Why? ________________________ _______________________________________________________________ Q.3 –Read Psalm 139, Matthew 6:25-32, Isaiah 49:15-16, and John 3:16-17. Make a list of how God feels about you and responds to you. Identify whether you believe God accepts and values you? Why do you believe in that acceptance or why not? What would make God’s acceptance more real to you? Try sharing honestly some messy part of your life with God, then re-read these passages of acceptance and think about how God wants to help. Q.4 – Set a time to ask the person you identified to help you be “honest”. Write out specifically what you want him/her to do and why you need it. Q.5 –Christ calls us to be “holy” as God is holy (Leviticus 11:44-45, I Peter 1:16). Reflect upon this challenge and how you want to respond. Since holiness isn’t something we do on our own how can you allow God to help you in this? Q.6 –Why are you struggling to be like Christ in this area? What are the needs, attitudes or issues keeping you from changing it or allowing Christ to transform it? ___________ _______________________________________________________________ Is there anything you need to confess? 1 .___________________________________________________________ 2. ___________________________________________________________ 3. ___________________________________________________________ 4.____________________________________________________________ What acts of repentance are needed for the above items? 1 .____________________________________________________________ 2. ____________________________________________________________ 3. _____________________________________________________________ 4. _____________________________________________________________ Christ doesn’t insist or even ask that you do this by yourself. What help do you need to ask for from him (e.g. someone you can trust to help show you the way)? Where or to whom can you reach out in order to find the help you need? Q.7 –How can/will you celebrate your growth over this past year? Don’t let the opportunity to celebrate it pass by! Do you have any question(s) about your beliefs or actions that you need to study/reflect upon/seek help on? Are their questions about your faith that are lingering but are going unspoken and not dealt with? ______________________________________________ (If needed seek the guidance of church staff/leaders to identify study resources on these things) Q.8 –What will/can you do to move back toward Christ? Who can you ask to help you in the effort to move closer to Christ (e.g. someone to go to church with you, someone to pray for you or with you, someone to ask how you are doing weekly)? Is there someplace that you are pretending to be alright but are really only hanging on? What can you do to deal with the struggle? REMEMBER that Christ loves you and accepts you just as you are! The Lord wants the best for you and is willing to do extraordinary things to make a wonderful life and relationship with you possible. If you are willing to have these gifts then turn toward him, ask for his help and do what he asks. Then be open to how he reaches out to you. 
L: Learning: 1. How do you learn: (check all that apply) ___ Book/Video/Audio lessons ___ Meditating on materials ___ Memorizing ___ Attending Lectures ___ By talking with others ___ By doing something or experiencing it ___ Reading Books ___ Just being with God ___ By Observing God’s creation ___ Through the message of symbols and rituals ___ Other: ________________________________ 2. What do you seek to achieve out of learning: ___ General Knowledge ___ Personal Insights ___ Direction for personal situations ___ A message of instruction from God ___ Connection with God ___ Connection with the world ___ Historic Insights ___ Encouragement ___ Strength ___ Peace ___ Joy ___ Other: ____________________________________ 3. What of the Bible have you studied in the last year? ___ Old Testament book:________________________ ___ New Testament book: _______________________ ___ Topical Study: _______________________________ ___ Other: ______________________________________ 4. What resources do you use to help you learn about and know God? ___ Bible ___ Commentaries ___ Study Materials (workbooks, etc.) ___ Devotionals (e.g. from authors like Max Lucado/ Beth Moore/etc.) ___ Bible Dictionaries, Atlas, Concordance, History books ___ Small Group or Classes ___ Books on specific topics ___ Prayer ___ Meditation, and/or Reflection ___ Friends ___ Online Lessons or Blogs ___ Other ___________________________ 5. How do you apply what you learn about God and God’s desires? ___ Changed (or am changing) attitudes ___ Changed specific actions (stopped or started actions) ___ I didn’t make any changes ___ I persevered in something ___ Changed what I thought/believed about something ___ Other: _________________________________________ 6. What % do you focus on learning: ___ for head knowledge (knowing about God, etc.) ___ for life application & transformation (knowing God) 7. What issue or topic do you most want/need to learn about? Why?_______________________________________________ 8. What % of the time in your learning do you find yourself saying: ___ “people should do that” or ___ “I know someone who needs to do this” ___ “I should do that” or ___ “I need to know this” ************************************************* The Next Step: How to Grow in your Spiritual Maturity (specific suggestion to questions in the inventory are labeled Q + the number of the question) Learning: Q.1 – How can you best use the method of learning most powerful for you (e.g. identify people Who stimulate you and plan time to be with them, regularly take time to be in nature to observe it, select books to read over the next 6 months, pick commentaries and other resource books to help you study and understand the Bible). Go to a bookstore or library and look for other study possibilities. Watch for seminars on topics of interest or need. Q.2 – Spend a week on a passage of Scripture with day 1 just reading it, day 2 reading for historic knowledge, day 3 reading for personal message/application, day 4 reading for God’s call to you for action, day 5 reading for God’s promise or gift, etc. Q.3 -Use a Read Through the Bible in A Year program to fully experience the Scripture material. Or pick a part of the Bible that you rarely/never have studied…why haven’t you studied it? Choose a week to look over it. ____________________________ If you don’t feel comfortable reading from the Bible, Why not? What would make you more comfortable? Would an introduction course on the Bible help (e.g. from a College or a study from a bookstore)? Use the internet or a commentary so that another’s ideas can challenge, push or encourage you (e.g. go to http://bible.christianity.com, or another site where you can read other people’s notes or thoughts on passages) Q.4 –If you are not familiar with Bible resources, find a person to help show you these. Spend some time familiarizing yourself with them so that you know how to use them and what they offer you. If you want a person to help you learn about them, ask your Pastor or go to a local bookstore and ask the staff to explain resources and what they provide. Q.5 –If you focus mostly on head knowledge work to personally apply lessons. Perhaps by placing yourself in the role of various persons in the story and then searching for the connections to your life (e.g. similar feelings, situation) or by rewriting the story as if it were happening to you. If you limit the knowledge element then read noticing the setting, lifestyles, historic details, etc. Use a Bible Dictionary or Study Bible to help identify and clarify these so that you better grasp the issues and message. Q.7 -Seek out studies on the topic/issue of interest (e.g. forgiveness, death, healing). Or do a theme or word study using a concordance (e.g. Strong’s) search for where and how the word is used in the Bible (e.g. Chosen-Matt 12:18, 20:16, 22:14, Mark 13:20, Luke 10:42, John 6:70, 13:18, 15:16-19, Acts 1:2, 1:24, 9:15, 10:41, 15:22, 15:25, 22:14, Romans 16:13, 1 Corinthians 1:27-28, 2 Corinthians 2:19, Ephesians 1:4. 2 Thessalonians 2:13, 2 Timothy 2:4, James 2:5, 1 Peter 2:4, 2:9, Revelations 17:14) Q.8 –Refuse to ‘remove’ yourself from the focus of passage or lesson. When studying continually ask how God is working to challenge, confront, or encourage you personally by it. Always ask: “So what does this call me to do?” Other resources: Saddleback Church’s 201 Class which gives methods for meditation, study, memorization and more. Gary Thomas “Sacred Pathways”, Myra Perrine “What’s your God Language”, Richard Foster “Celebration of Discipline” 
W: Worship: 1. How do you define ‘worship’? _________________________ 2. How frequently do you spend time worshipping God? ___ Constantly ___ Daily ___ Weekly ___ Every so often ___ Rarely ___ Never 3. How frequently do you attend worship with others? ___ Weekly or more ___ Few times /Month ___ Once every couple of Months ___ A couple of times/Year ___ Rarely ___ Never 4. How frequently do you feel like you have truly worshiped? ___ Constantly ___ Weekly ___ Few times /Month ___ Once every couple of Months ___ A couple of times/Year ___ Rarely ___ Never 5. What most impacts whether you feel like you have worshiped? ___ Personal Situation ___ Quality of a worship service ___ Time personally preparing to be with God ___ Distractions (noise, etc.) ___ Choosing to focus on God ___ Tools used to help me connect with God (music, visuals, symbols, etc.) ___ Other: _______________________________________ 6. Prioritize which parts of worship are most powerful for you? Why? ___ Prayer: ______________________________________ ___ Music: ______________________________________ ___ Communion: _______________________________ ___ Scripture Reading: _________________________ ___ Message: ___________________________________ ___ Stewardship/Offering: ____________________ ___ A specific ritual: ____________________________ ___ Alter Call: ____________________________________ ___ Other: _______________________________________ 7. What 2 facets of worship are least powerful for you? Why? ___ Prayer: ______________________________________ ___ Music: ______________________________________ ___ Communion: ________________________________ ___ Scripture Reading: ___________________________ ___ Message: _____________________________________ ___ Stewardship/Offering: _______________________ ___ A specific ritual: ________________________________ ___ Other: _______________________________________ 8. What is your focus when you worship (place a %)? ___ Interaction/sharing in Community ___ Personal Reflection ___ I am frequently focused on distractions (rustling papers, thought of work/home, etc) ___ On making a connection with God ___ On getting it done ___ Other: ________________________________________ ******************************************* The Next Step: How to Grow in your Spiritual Maturity (specific suggestion to questions in the inventory are labeled Q + the number of the question) Q.1/2 –Worship is to be a lifestyle and not just an hour we spend once a week or so. Watch for pennies and whenever you see one on the ground or receive one in change look at the imprint “In God we Trust.” As you see those words ask yourself: “Am I trusting God right now? How do I need to trust God today?” Then give thanks to God for being so trustworthy. Find other ways to bring God into your everyday life (when you are in the car watch for things to give thanks over, when in nature look for things that show God’s creativity and power, etc.) Q.4/5 – How might you strengthen your participation as part of the “Body of Christ” in worship? ___ Singing ___ Noticing the Prayer needs (not just listening but lifting up/remembering concerns) ___ Noticing the needs of others and responding to them ___ Share Communion with another ___ Attending a Service ___ Other _________________________________________ How do you need to enhance your personal involvement in worship? ___ Focus on personal application of the message ___ Personalize the Prayers (make them your prayer) ___ Prepare yourself before the service to come into God’s presence ___ Use the night before to put things into place and remove internal and external obstacles to your worshiping (set alarm clock, set out clothes, confess sins) ___ Other _________________________________________ Reflect on how to take control of being with God. Prepare yourself to be with God and focus on those thoughts that most powerfully bring you into connection with God. Deal with distractions by resisting being drawn off the focus of worshiping God by noises, others, or a wandering mind. Write notes about what is being said to help keep focused on the message, bring to mind things in your life that match the issues lifted up in prayer (forgiveness mentioned-search for where you have hurt others, joy talked about-remember blessings of your last week, etc.). When your mind does wander don’t beat yourself up but gently refocus. Remember, worship is about your offering God yourself and not what others do or don’t do. Your ongoing effort to be with the Lord brings delight. Q.6 – Celebrate these but remember these are just tools to reach out to God. How can you best use these to connect with God? Q.7 – Look for things about these facets of worship that others find meaningful. If you don’t understand them learn more about them and their use. See if there is an aspect of them that you can value and be blessed by. Q.8 –Spend a service focusing totally on being: *part of the community (e.g. singing passionately, joining in the responses, focusing on the group’s needs in times of prayer, etc.) *then one focused on personal reflection (e.g. read biblical passages with you specifically in mind, focus prayer on your needs and calling, listen for how things impact your personal relationship with Christ), *then one on helping others worship (e.g. notice the needs of others and how you can help them such as helping them stand, hold a book for the elderly, supporting a parent with small children, etc.). |
SPIRITUAL MATURING BY OPENING UP Fruit of the Spirit - Galatians 5:22-23 Spiritual Maturity is not all about what we can achieve and do. It is not just about the actions we take. It is also about how much we allow Christ to dwell in us. We are told that the Spirit offers us fruit that will bless us and others. Yet we often close ourselves off from these blessings. How open are you to receiving these gifts from the Holy Spirit? I: Love: 1. Who are you choosing not to love or limiting your love toward? (check all that apply & list names) ___ Family: _______________________________ ___ Co-workers: ___________________________ ___ Acquaintances: ________________________ ___ Strangers: ____________________________ ___ Self: ________________________________ ___ Other: _______________________________ 2. Are you ‘loving your enemy’ by wishing for them to find God’s presence and blessing? ___ Family: _____________________________________ ___ Acquaintance/co-worker: _______________________ ___ Stranger (know of but don’t know personally): ___ Past Relationship: _____________________________ ___ Other ______________________________________ 3. Sometime I find it hard to love unless: (check all that apply) ___ People act ‘right’ ___ We believe the same things ___ We have the same priorities ___ They treat me right ___ I am in the mood ___ Other ______________________________________ 4. What is most likely to hold you back from loving? ___ Lack of accepting them ___ Fear of _____________________________________ ___ Anger or hatred ___ Uncertainty over: ______________________________ ___ Energy ___ Time ___ Unable to forgive ___ Other: ______________________________________ ************************************************************** The Next Step: How to Grow in your Spiritual Maturity (specific suggestion to questions in the inventory are labeled Q + the number of the question) Love: Reflect upon and do a Bible study on how much God loves you. (e.g. John 3:16, Matthew 10:29-31). Study biblical reason to love (e.g. I John 4:18-20, I John 4:7-21) Pray for God to fill you with love. Q.1 –What about this person/people do you find hard to love? Why is this action/attitude/trait so powerful for you (e.g. hurt, fear, jealousy)? How do you need to respond to this barrier? Can you see positive things in the person? Think about how God might feel toward this person and list the positive things that you believe God sees or feels (perhaps parroting the person’s actions from the person’s being would help in this effort). Q.2 – What keeps you from wanting ‘good’ for this person (anger, wanting revenge, fear, etc.)? How do you need to let God deal with them (Romans 12:17-21). Do you need to seek healing for your wounds? Do you need to trust in God’s righteousness, wisdom and justice to ‘take care’ of wrongs done? Do you need to pray daily for this person to find God’s presence and blessings? Do you need to pray for God’s strength to help you see the good in them and desire good for this person? Q.3 - Reflect upon the rough edges in your life and where you have been shown love ‘in spite of’ things you have done or said. List these experiences, what you did and how others responded to you. Also list why you think they responded that way and what helped them to take that pathway. Have you ever felt like someone only loved you for what you do instead of who you are? Have you ever wanted someone to see you as separate from your action(s) or mistakes? Why? When? What difference would it have made? How do/could those experiences shape your focus on loving or not loving? Q.4 –List what it would take for you to lift the barriers keeping you from loving? List how the Lord wants you to respond (e.g. forgive, trust, lovingly challenge) and what you are doing or are hesitating to do on that list? If there are any hesitations, why? Do you need to love from a distance because the relationship is toxic or dangerous (e.g. praying for some one who is abusive but removing oneself from the situation)? Read Gary Smalley’s book “The Five Love Languages” to better understand how to express love in helpful ways. ============================ 2: Joy: 1. What % of your life are you: ___ happy, ___ neutral, ___ sad? 2. I struggle the most to be full of joy when? (check all that apply) ___ Good things aren’t happening ___ I am not being treated right ___ I am not physically healthy ___ I am in physical, emotional, psychological pain ___ I just don’t feel like I have anything to be grateful about ___ I have job struggles ___ I have family struggles ___ Other ______________________________________ 3. How dependent is your joy on your circumstances? ___ Totally ___ Not at all ___ Not on good days ___ 50/50 ___ Depends on the current circumstances 4. What joy ‘igniters’ do you tap into or see? ___ Scriptures about hope and blessings ___ Observing the greatness of Creation ___ Counting God’s kindnesses ___ Helping others ___ Worship ___ Socializing or fellowshiping experiences ___ Humor/Comedy ___ Other: _______________________________ 5. How do you tap into these ‘joy bringers’? ____________ 6. How often do you tap into joy ‘igniters’? Why or why not do you tap into these? ___________________________________________________________ *************************************************************** The Next Step: How to Grow in your Spiritual Maturity (specific suggestion to questions in the inventory are labeled Q + the number of the question) Joy: Q.1 -For a week keep a journal listing (from 1-10) how joy/joyless you are at various times of the day, in different situations, and with various people. Q.2/3 -Reflect upon and identify common things in the high joy times and in the low joy times. What leads to each of these high or low experiences? Q.4 -Study Joy in Scripture and in the world. Also think about the qualities of God that we have to celebrate: Always loving, kind, caring, willing to step into bad situations to help bring good for us, compassionate, forgiving, etc. Word study of contentment? (e.g. Philippians 4: 4, 11-13) Study how we overcome circumstance based joy? Identify the things that “put you in a great mood” consistently. What about them accomplish this? How much/regular a part of your life are they? Q.5 –Make a list of things that bring joy and keep this list around (you might categorize them according to what brings big joy, medium delight, quick chuckles and how much effort/time/cost is needed to obtain the joy). In thinking of what brings joy think of experiences but also of feelings or thoughts that bring joy. Then focus on how you can foster these feelings or thoughts. For example, if gratitude is a joy bringer then list as many things that you have to celebrate as you can. Maybe you can give something to another or perform a service if that is what brings you joy. Or if the feeling of security brings joy then list all of the ways that God is acting to protect you and to keep you safe. You might write out goals for having different joy experiences. Some examples and resources are: set aside 3 hours every two weeks to watch an appropriate comedy, read the comics once a week, read a book of humor every month (e.g. The Joyful Noiseletter at http://www.joyfulnoiseletter.com/) every month memorize a Scripture that brings you joy, etc. Use the journal at least three time a week as a resource and reminder to seek out joy. Gather a list of the resources needed for the joy bringers so that you can use them. Ask for God’s filling of Joy. Q.6 – Schedule a regular ‘filling’ of a ‘joy igniter’ so that you don’t run dry. Plan one of your joy igniters every day for the next 10 days. ==================== 3: Peace: 1. How dependent is your sense of security on external issues or circumstances? ___ My sense of peace is totally dependent on what is taking place ___ I usually feel secure/peaceful even in less than the best circumstances ___ I feel secure/at peace when there are only minor difficulties in my life ___ I often feel secure/peaceful even with major issues or difficulties ___ I feel secure or at peace in any situation ___ I have to work at not letting things rob me of peace 2. What situations are difficult for you to remain ‘peace- full’ in? (check all that apply) ___ Personal Conflicts ___ Work ___ Family Situations ___ Church Issues ___ Societal Issues ___ World Instability/Struggles ___ Spiritual Issues ___ Financial Issues ___ Emotional Issues ___ Moral Issues ___ Health Issues ___ Other __________________________________ 3. What crushes your peace (check all that apply)? Why? ___ Fear ___ Physical hurt ___ Situational Instability (e.g. job loss, divorce, life transition) ___ Uncertainty ___ Feeling left out ___ Feeling ‘less fortunate’ ___ Jealousy ___ Conflict ___ Hatred ___ Injustice ___ Guilt ___ Shame ___ Other ____________________________________ 4. How do you deal with conflict? ___ Fight to get the way I think best or prefer ___ I compromise so that it is resolved ___ I work for a consensus ___ Avoid conflict ___ I go along with the majority ___ I go along with my friends ___ Other: ___________________________________ 5. What are the two major focuses in how you deal with conflict? ___ Work to solve the issue/problem or do the task ___ Focus on saving/protecting relationships…which ones: __________________________________________ ___ Make sure all the ‘I’s’ are dotted and ‘T’s’ are crossed ___ I avoid it ___ Try to get others to go along with my way ___ Follow my friends in whatever direction they take ___ Hold on to the way things have been done ___ Other: _______________________________________ 6. Are you striving for peace or just working to ignore/suppress conflict? Why? ___ At home: ______________________________________ ___ At work: ______________________________________ ___ In friendships: _________________________________ ___ With God: _____________________________________ ___ At Church: _____________________________________ ___ Other: _________________________________ ******************************************(specific suggestion to questions in the inventory are labeled Q + the number of the question) Peace: Q.1 -Identify the five most peace filled experiences of the last week as well as the five most peace less times. What led to the good and negative experiences; internal and external. Do you need to reinforce or change an influence, thought pattern or focus? If you need to change an influence, list what needs to be changed and why. List 3-5 steps you will take to do that (e.g. if jealousy is a problem – every time a jealous thought comes to mind say a prayer of thanks that God has blessed the person. Then think of two ways that you have been blessed). If something needs to be reinforced, list how it helped in the past and 3 things you can do to make it stronger (e.g. gratitude helped bring peace- and so make a list of the 100 best things that have happened to you or been done for you and read it every week. Add new things to the list or create a new list every month) Q.2/3 -Identify what you can do to let go of fears, demands and questions in order to find God’s peace. List steps you can take to remove peace crushers and to bring peace even in a difficult situation. (e.g. place security in relationship with God and not in a particular job, house, income). Q.4/5 –Study the ways that people handle conflict in order to recognize the different priorities and views of people in conflict. Think about how you are being sensitive or insensitive to people’s values or needs. Is there an area where you are consistently being insensitive? Why? How has your way of handling conflict worked or failed to bring peace in the past? What can you learn from these past experiences? How hard do you work to understand the position of the other(s) in conflict situations? List your most recent conflict situation and write out the possible motives of the people involved. Think about how the different motives of the others might change your response or feelings. If you focus on a win/lose pattern why is that? How does this impact your situations, relationships and sense of peace? Is there a way to work toward a win/win resolution? Study the biblical image of peace and what brings it. Word study of Security/Safety using a concordance --- e.g. 2 Timothy 4:17-19 Study what ‘peace’ entails—e.g. John 14:27 Reflect upon what it would take for you to trust totally in God’s oversight…..what it would take for you to find wholeness?…..how would life be different if you totally trusted God? Q.5–How does the call to peace ask you to respond to these situations? Pray daily for the Spirit to fill you with Christ’s peace (e.g. John 14:27). Pray for those who are contributing to your dis-ease. Meditate to release the tension from situations (e.g. focus on God’s power and promises which tell us that we know the end of the story, so we can be peace full). Seek new knowledge about situations. Other resources: For the church read- Antagonists in the Church by Kenneth Haugk, Creating a Healthier Church by Ronald Richardson =========================== 4: Patience: 1. How often, this past week, have you been ‘short’ with a family member/friend/stranger or yourself? Why? ___ Not at all ___ Once: ___________________________________ ___ A Few Times: _____________________________ ___ Often: ___________________________________ ___ Constantly: _______________________________ 2. List on a scale of 1-10 how patient you are in each of these situations: ___ With family ___ At Work ___ In Public Situations (restaurants, stores, etc.) ___ With technology ___ In Traffic ___ On Vacation ___ Under Stress ___ Other: ___________________________________ 3. What issues or situations do you have the least patience about? Why? _______________________________________________ 4. What makes you impatient with a family/friend/situation? (check all that apply) ___ Failure to do what I asked or to meet my needs ___ The pace of what is done ___ Confusion about the situation ___ Outside influences (e.g. job) ___ Unreal expectations ___ Responsibility ___ Alcohol or drugs ___ Lack of energy ___ Repeated offense or hardship ___ Other _____________________________________ 5. Where have you grown in patience in a situation that once frustrated you? What was it? ___ At home: ___________________________________ ___ At work: ___________________________________ ___ With life situation:_____________________________ ___ With health: _________________________________ ___ With another person: __________________________ ___ Other _____________________________________ 6. How hard do you find it to ‘wait upon the Lord’ to take care of things? ___ Impossibly in some situations ___ Very Hard ___ Usually OK ___ Almost always OK ___ Never a problem 7. What is waiting like for you? ___ Lonely ___ Stressful ___ Confusing ___ Fearful of: __________________________________ ___ Depressing ___ Eagerly Anticipating ___ Peaceful ___ Distracting (lose focus) ___ Other: _____________________________________ 8. What is your response when God doesn’t act on your timeline? (choose one) ___ Give up on God ___ Do my own thing and hope God will come along ___ Do nothing but get resentful ___ Do nothing but become discouraged and down ___ Look for why God might not be acting as I want when I want ___ Trust that God is working on my behalf and will reveal things at the right time ******************************************** The Next Step: How to Grow in your Spiritual Maturity (specific suggestion to questions in the inventory are labeled Q + the number of the question) Patience: Q.1/2 -Identify in what situation or to what person you need to show patience/give grace. Where do you need to pray for God’s filling of patience? Why do you find yourself inpatient in these situations? Create or find something to be a reminder to help you bring grace to your circumstances (e.g. a note on refrigerator or desk, symbol carried in your pocket). Identify and list some ways for you to bring patience into a situation (e.g. deep breaths, ask for a break and move out of the tense situation, think of something humorous, remember something you value about the other person, remind yourself of God’s valuing of you and ask for the Lord to show you how to be a blessing in the situation). Use the interruption to pray or to give praise to God. Q.3 -Patience is often related to how well we give ‘grace’ to others. List numerous ways that you have been shown ‘grace’, forgiveness or patience. What would your life be like without this ‘grace’/patience/forgiveness shown to you? Think about God’s love of people. How does God’s valuing of people, even those you find frustrating, change your view of them or response to them? Q.4 -Impatience often causes us to miss things that are important or that hold blessings. Make a patience journal that lists what things each day challenge your patience or help you to have patience. List quotes on patience and put suggestions for how to enhance your patience. Also list in it what you have missed out on because of a lack of patience and the things that you have gained because of patience. When you experience delays look around for things to enjoy, learn from, or opportunities to be a gift to another. A lack of patience is sometimes the result of not understanding another or from misunderstanding them or the situation. How much effort do you put into understanding the other or the whole situation? Why did you put in that amount of effort? Would more effort have helped change things for the better? Is there a situation that you need to work to better understand or to understand from a different perspective? List what you will do to obtain that understanding? Q.5 – GREAT! Celebrate! Go out to dinner to celebrate or have your favorite cup of Java or a Dr. Pepper. Buy a helium balloon and put in at your dinning room table as a reminder. Get a bouquet of flowers. Share it with a friend and tell him/her why this was important to you. Give yourself an extra 5 minutes to read or sleep. Q.6 -Study the topic of patience in Scripture (e.g. Proverbs 19:11, 25:15, Ecclesiastes 7:8, Romans 2:1-6, Colossians 3:12-13, Hebrews 6:10-12, James 5:7-11, Psalm 5:3, 27:11-14, 37:7). Q.7/8 –What is hard about waiting on God? What fears arise when God doesn’t act immediately as you desire? What do these feelings or reasons for impatience say about how you view God or believe about God? Are there things about your relationship with God that need to be strengthened or to grow? List the steps you will take to make that happen. Change often challenges our patience. Understanding how and why people deal with change can help us grow in patience instead of being frustrated by what seems to be stubbornness or randomness. Study the characteristics of how people accept change in order to better understand what they are thinking, wishing for and struggling against (e.g. Everett M. Rogers innovation acceptance chart-Diffusion of Innovation, 1962 -- http://education.ed.pacificu.edu/bcis/workshop/adoption.html) =================== 5: Kindness: 1. What are the last five non-required/non-expected kind acts you have done? (said a kind word to a person who was struggling, been patient with someone having difficulty doing their job, given money to a need, given time to help another, shared information that another needed, prayed with or for the person, etc.) 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. What are five kindnesses you could have shown but chose not to show? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 2. How many kind deeds do you do in an average week? ___ None ___ A Few ___ Several ___ Many ___ Do them constantly 3. How often do you “plan” and carry out kind deeds for others (Intentional Kindnesses)? ___ Daily ___ One or more a week ___ Every Couple of weeks ___ Every month or so ___ I don’t plan kindnesses but just do things when I feel like it ___ I don’t do kind things 4. Why do you do acts of kindness? (check all that apply) ___ Recognition ___ For the ‘good feeling’ ___ Out of gratitude for what I have received ___ Because they need it ___ Because I enjoy it ___ Because of guilt for what I have ___ Out of another kind of guilt: _________ ___ Because of embarrassment ___ Because I’m ‘supposed to’ ___ Other ________________________________ 5. Do you put a ‘cap’ on kindness? If so, how and why? Is it a good cap? (e.g. fear of being hurt, being taken advantage of, it costing too much) _____________________________________ 6. If it is a negative cap what would it take for you to remove the cap? __________________________________________ In what situations or issues are you least likely to be kind? Why? ___ Someone doing criminal behavior: _________________ ___ Someone doing immoral but not criminal behavior: ___ Someone whom I’ve forgiven previously but has done it again: ___ A world situation with other countries or peoples: ___ A situation of leaders doing wrong: _________________ ___ A situation involving harm done to children/youth: ___ A situation where the poor were taken advantage of by another: _____ ___ With yourself: _________________________________ ___ With those you love (family, friends): ______________ ___ With strangers: _____________________________________ ___ Someone acting selfishly or bullying others: ________ ___ With people who are rigidly judgmental ___ Other _________________________________________________ 8. Is God softening your heart to a person/situation? ___ At home ___ At work ___ In the World ___ With an Acquaintance or stranger ___ Other ______________________________ 9. How do you allow God to soften your heart? ___ Do what God prompts me to do even if I don’t ‘feel’ like it ___ Pray for God’s will to be made clear to me and done ___ Read Scripture on forgiveness, mercy, justice, righteousness ___ Continually remind myself of my failings in order to recognize the mercy shown me ___ Other: _______________________________________________ **************************************** The Next Step: How to Grow in your Spiritual Maturity (specific suggestion to questions in the inventory are labeled Q + the number of the question) Kindness: Ask God daily to open your eyes to the needs for kindness and to fill you with the desire to help others. Then choose to let kindness flow. Q.1 -What talents, skills, knowledge or experiences do you have that can be used to show kindness to others? _________________________________________ _________________________________________ Study Jesus response to people in need to see how he showed kindness to them by (1) what he focused upon, (2) what he said to them and (3) how he acted. (e.g. woman with flow of blood-Matt. 9:19-22, Peter’s mother-in-law-Matthew 8:14-17, Wedding at Cana-John 2:1-10, thief on the cross-Luke 23:33-43, Samaritan Woman-John 4:4-30, feeding of the 5000-Matthew 14:14-21, feeding of the 4000-Matthew 15:29-38, healing of the Centurion’s servant-Luke 7:1-10, Healing of the 10 lepers-Luke 17:12-19, washing of disciple’s feet-John 13:2-17). Q.2/3 –Keep a journal of kindnesses you do (not to become pompous but to become more aware of what you are doing) and also a section with the opportunities missed to do kindness. Look at it at the end of each day and identify why you did or did not share kindness. Q.3 - Seek out a place where you can do the kindness you want to do. Pick several actions that you can do with joy and enthusiasm each month. Make contact to find out about opportunities to act in kind ways if needed and then schedule a time to act. Build relationship with people who have similar desires in order to open up new opportunities of friendship and action. What are at least three intentional acts of kindness (planned actions for someone you know) such as babysitting for a couple so they can go on a date, washing a friends car, etc. you will do with dates of when you will do them. Notice and think about the feelings and thoughts that come when you do these kind acts? 1. _______________________________________ 2. _______________________________________ 3.________________________________________ 4.________________________________________ How can you expand the ways you show kindness? Do you need to expand your motivations to showing care? How will you do that (e.g. get to know someone more personally so you have both an emotional and intellectual connection, etc.) Q.4 - If there are negative attitudes or motivations focus on confronting them. Identify acts of kindness you have done for the wrong motive and see if you can change your motivation to a healthy one. What can help you remove the barriers keeping you from showing kindness and care or showing them in healthy and good ways This might be to pray for God to show you the barriers and to send people to help you overcome them , to do a study of Scriptures on what hurts God and what God most desires (e.g. Micah 6), to deal with inner fears or hurts by taking steps to forgive, find security, and heal (e.g. name the wrong done, identify the pain and damage caused, offering it to God’s care, choose to let go of any bitterness or anger, pray for Christ to help you forgive the person), to identify your priorities (e.g. look at how you spend your time and money) and change any that are off target, or to deal with prejudices or misconceptions? If you are struggling with an intense hurt then you may need to seek counseling or other support in working through the issue. Wounds are not to be covered over but to be healed! If you can’t change your negative feelings or thoughts about a situations right now you might need to change your efforts to another focus area until you can find a healthy response. Work to find the right area so that your heart and actions are in sync. Study kindness and its biblical meaning (e.g. Genesis 21:23, Jeremiah 9:24, 31:3, Hosea 11:1-4, Acts 27:1-2, Romans 2:1-4, 11:22, Colossians 3:12, Titus 3:4-7, 2 Peter 1:4-8). Reflect upon how your motives measure up to the biblical message or examples. What changes do you need to make in attitudes or action? Q.5 -Spend this week noticing and listing: a. All the kindnesses God provides you b. All the kindnesses others do for you (words, actions, patience given, etc.) Read Luke 6:38. What thoughts come to you about your cap? What do you want to do in response? Are there selfish reasons you don’t show more kindness? __________________________________________ Evaluate the calling of Christ to be caring/kind and how you are responding. Why are you responding in that fashion? Do you need to change attitudes or priorities to be more faithful? Examine the lives of one or more person known for service (e.g. Mother Theresa, a personal acquaintance of yours, Eli Stanley Jones) and identify their lessons, struggles and example Q.6 –Is there anyone that you need to forgive so that you can offer kindness? Who, and what will you do about this situation? _______________________ List three ways that you will strive to build more compassion into your life? 1. ______________________________________ 2. ______________________________________ 3. ______________________________________ Q.7/8/9 –What will you do for the person God is softening your heart toward? Do you need to let go of resentment toward someone? Will you do that? How? Are you resistant to your heart being softened? Why? What will you do to allow God to work in you? Make it a priority for a week to do as many Random Acts of Kindness as you can (e.g. say a compliment to a stranger, help someone with the door, let another person have the best parking spot). Keep a journal about the situations as well as what you think and feel before, during and after doing these kind acts? Other resources: Saddleback Church’s 301 Class (www.saddlebackresources.com/en-US/MinistryTools/ClassMaterials/ClassMaterials.htm) gives a format for discovering spiritual gifts as well as education, abilities, experiences that Christ can use. Willowcreek’s Network Program (http://seeds.willowcreek.org/wc/) also provides a format for looking at personality, spiritual gifts and passion to find your service focus. ========================= 6: Goodness: 1. Do you first see the good/positive ___ or bad/negative in situations___? 2. What is the “flavoring” that you bring to situations? _____________________________________________________________ 3. Do you function neutrally (N) (trying not to make waves or go out on limbs), proactive for the good (G), or enhancing wrong (W)? ___ At work ____________________________________ ___ At home ____________________________________ ___ In conflict situations ____________________________ ___ With social issues (e.g. hunger, poverty, justice) _______ ___ Everywhere __________________________________ ___ Other _________________________________________ 4. In what situations and ways do you bring ‘goodness’? (choose all that apply) ___ By talking positively and affirmatively ___ By proactively doing good deeds ___ By standing up for what is right/just ___ By confronting wrong ___ By protecting the innocent ___ Other ______________________________________ 5. Where do you fail to be an influence of ‘good’ (e.g. gossiping, speaking/acting negatively, ignoring the needs of others, etc.)? How? ___ At work ____________________________________ ___ At home ____________________________________ ___ In conflict situations ____________________________ ___ With social issues (e.g. hunger, poverty, justice) ___ Everywhere __________________________________ ___Other _______________________________ ********************************************* Goodness: Q.1 - Where do you see good/positive and bad/negative in the world? What makes something “bad” for you? Are you ever too quick to label something or someone “bad”? Study the biblical concept of ‘goodness’ and stories of how God lifted up people to do good? (e.g. Romans 15:14, Ephesians 5:8-10, Galatians 5:19-26, 2 Thessalonians 1:11, 2 Peter 1:2-7, Micah 6:8, Matthew 7:9-20, 12:33-35, 19:16-21, 25:14-27, Matthew 5:13-16). Q.2 –List 7 friends or acquaintances that you consider bringing “good flavoring” into situations. What is the good flavoring that they brings? List things you can learn from them? Why do you bring the ‘flavoring’ you do? Does it differ from situation to situation? Why? If it is a bad flavoring what will you do to change it? What flavor do you want to bring? Read Matthew 5:13 and identify where you salt too much, too little and just right. _________________________________ List 5 ways you can bring good flavoring and what that good flavoring would be: 1. ______________________________________ 2. ______________________________________ 3. ______________________________________ 4. ______________________________________ 5. ______________________________________ Q.3/4 -Where do you sense God showing you where you need to shine goodness? Where do you feel God wanting you to be the presence of mercy? Where do you need to lovingly stand for justice? Q.5 –How do you need to change your failing to be the “good” in a situation? What two or more steps/actions will you take toward being the “good” flavoring into this experience? What can you do to minimize the influence(s) keeping you from being the “good” flavoring? Pray for the Lord to show you how to be the presence of goodness (not a rabble rouser or judgmental Pharisee) and list any the specific action shown to you. ======================== 7: Faithfulness: 1. Where has God asked you to do something this week? What have you done in response? ___ At Home: __________________ ___Done it ___Done ½ way ___ Ignored it ___ At Work: __________________ ___Done it ___Done ½ way ___ Ignored it ___ For the world: ______________ ___Done it ___Done ½ way ___ Ignored it ___ At Church: _________________ ___Done it ___Done ½ way ___ Ignored it ___ Other: _____________________ ___Done it ___Done ½ way ___ Ignored it 2. Where do you struggle the most to do what God desires? (choose all that apply) ___ Words ___ Actions ___ Attitudes _____Priorities ___ Money ___ Other: _________________________ 3. In what areas of your life do you feel that you are following God faithfully? Tell how? __________________ ____________________________________________________________ 5. Are there ongoing areas of you life where you are not being faithful (e.g. priority, attitude, action)? List these specifically: ____________, _______________________, __________________________, _ ______________________, ____________ ****************************************************** The Next Step: How to Grow in your Spiritual Maturity (specific suggestion to questions in the inventory are labeled Q + the number of the question) Faithfulness: Who could you trust to give you an accurate picture of your faithfulness? Will you ask for it? _______________________________________, ____________________________, __________________________ Q.1 –If you ignored Christ’s calling, why did you or why are you doing that? What do you need to do or deal with in response to this refusal to follow? What steps will you take to remove the barrier(s) to serving Christ? ___________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ Q.2 – What positive influence can you use to help you win this struggle? How will you use that resource? Who can help you overcome your barriers to following Christ’s call? Will you ask for his/her help and give specific ways you need help (e.g. by having him asking you particular questions that keep you focused or honest, by running ‘interference’ with a problematic person)? Write out what you need him/her to do and why. _____________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ Q.3 -What are areas of your life where you are following Christ faithfully and need to celebrate! _____________ ___________________________________________________________ How will you celebrate? (e.g. make a journal that lists how Christ has used you to make a difference, buy a special candle and burn it every time you feel you have been especially faithful,make a prayer list of thanksgiving to God for helping you to be faithful, eat an M&M) _____________________________________________________________ Q.4 -Identify areas of your life where you are not being faithful (e.g. priority, attitude, habits). ___________________ ______________________________________________________________ List what things you will do to change directions and better follow Christ in the next two weeks. Include any help needed and who you will ask for that help: 1. ______________________________________________ 2. ______________________________________________ 3. ______________________________________________ 4. ______________________________________________ =============================== 8: Gentleness: 1. Were your words this past week: (give a % of 100) ___ nice or ___ harsh? 2. Were your actions this past week: (give a % of 100) ___abrupt/hurtful or ___ comforting/helpful? 3. How do you view gentleness? (check all that apply) ___ As a weakness ___ As an option ___ As treating with tenderness ___ As showing care ___ As giving ‘proper’ attention ___ As incompatible with justice ___ Other _________________________________ 4. Are there people with whom you are not gentle? Why? a___________________________________________ b___________________________________________ c___________________________________________ 5. Where do you find gentleness easier to give? ___ Family ___ Friends ___ Acquaintances ___ Strangers ___ With no one ___ Co-workers ___ Church ___ Authority figures ___ Service persons ___ Other ********************************************** Gentleness: Q.1/2 –If you were harsh or abrupt why? Do you need to go back and deal with that situation and the consequences of your harshness? What do you need to do? How will you do it? Do you have feelings or thought patterns that need to be changed so that future situations are handled differently? What are they and what will you do? ________________________________ Q.3 -What does gentleness look like? How have you experienced it? ______________________________ ___________________________________________ Study Jesus’ interaction with those in need or seeking to understand. Noticing how and when he showed gentleness (e.g. John 4:46-53, 5:1-9, 9:1-7, Matthew 9: 1-6, 18-33, Luke 7:11-15) Q.4 – Reflect on what makes it hard for you to be gentle in particular situations or with particular people. List as many steps as you can to change areas that aren’t being positively handled or that could be handled better. Now choose the top 3-5 most important to you and list how you will begin making those changes:________________________________________ _______________________________________________ Q.5 -Our response to situations needs to change based on the needs present at the time. Some moments call for greater gentleness while other situations may always need to be handled with gentleness. Which of your situations always need gentleness: _______ _______________________________________________ List situations where you need to seek a better understanding or to work at sensing how much gentleness is needing. List 2-3 ways in each that you will show that gentleness or work to better understand. 1. __________________________________________ a.______________________________________ b.______________________________________ c. ______________________________________ 2. ___________________________________________ a._______________________________________ b._______________________________________ c. _______________________________________ 3. ____________________________________________ a.________________________________________ b.________________________________________ c. ________________________________________ ============================== 9: Self-Control: 1. Where do you feel you have the greatest self-control: ___ In the words I say ___ In my habits ___ In my work ___ With my family ___ In my thoughts ___ Other: ___________________________________ 2. Where do you feel out of control? Why? (check all that apply) Name the habit, priority, relationship or ___ specifically. ___ With a Habit: ______________________________ ___ With Priorities: _____________________________ ___ With Work: ________________________________ ___ In a Relationship: ____________________________ ___ With an Emotion (e.g. anger, jealous)______ ___ Other ____________________________________ 3. What makes you feel out of control or what issues/items do you find hard to control? 4. How do you usually act/think when you feel out of control? ___ Angry ___ Afraid ___ Defensively ___ Distant ___ Impatient ___ Hopeless (I just give up) ___ I work harder to control or try to control ___ I trust that everything will work out OK ___Other: _____________________________________ 5. Are you working to control everything yourself or are you allowing God to help you? How? _____________________ 6. Where do you need/wish to put boundary lines of control (if only you could keep them)? ___ With this Habit: ____________________________ ___ With this/these Priorities: _________________ ___ With Work: _________________________________ ___ In this Relationship: _______________________ ___ With this Emotion: _________________________ ___Other ______________________________ ******************************************************************* The Next Step: How to Grow in your Spiritual Maturity (specific suggestion to questions in the inventory are labeled Q + the number of the question) Self-Control: Q.1 -Name the 3 most important boundary lines you have drawn? a. ______________________________________________ b. _____________________________________________ c. ______________________________________________ Why are these boundaries important to you? Are these positive boundaries? Why or why not? _________________ ______________________________________________________________ Q.2/3 –When you feel out of control how do you respond? Do you try and maintain/create boundaries? Think about the last 2 situations where you felt out of control. How did you respond? Did you do things that were destructive in the effort to maintain control? What could you have done differently? Where can you find the right amount and kind of control needed for situations (e.g. not requiring things to always go your way, providing the safety needed)? Who or what can help? _________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Where do you derive your boundaries? a. Family: _____________________________________ b. Church: ____________________________________ a. Scripture: ___________________________________ b. Friends: ____________________________________ c. personal priorities: ____________________________ d. other ______________________________________ Q.4 – How do you need to trust God and others in these situations? Are you compounding problems by your response? How can you resist creating more difficulties in these times? ___________________________________________________________ Q.5 -Are there boundaries you need to erase? What are they? How will you do that erasing? a. _________________________________________ b. _________________________________________ Q.6 -Are there new boundaries you need to put in place? What are they and what steps will you take to put them into place? a. ________________________________________ b. ________________________________________ =========================== |